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Wednesday, April 5th 2006

12:44 AM

Diary of a weak priest

Today is the 24th anniversay of my ordination.

“Priesthood is God’s gift of to us: our lives as priests is our gift to God and His people, continue to pray for us:” these were the concluding words of thanksgiving  I have spoken 24 years ago before the blessing on the mass of our ordination.  Five years after that ordination, the first part of that statement: “Priesthood is God’s gift of us”, was a heartfelt experience me, but when my silver jubilee as a priest was approaching, it dawned to me that the second part of that statement: “our lives as priests is our gift to God” should be more true, and be ever more true till the end of our lives.

If we however go to a more wider picture, this very life is a gift of God and therefore, the question: What can I really give?  Everything belongs to Him.  Nothing humbles me the most in front of God than to realize that I could only give my nothingness, perhaps my sinfulness!

It precisely this realization that I was inspired by others, to still want to give my life, though it is really from God and therefore it is really to glorify Him, and even if my life is infinitely only a dot in the history of salvation.  What can really ultimately give is only and should only be Him.

This became the intimate struggle to give what is most intimate and closest to my heart for precisely, I have nothing to give.  I have no great accomplishments if it was not aided by His grace, nothing to which I could call my own achievement.
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