It is now one year that I came to know I would be assigned as a rector in our diocesan seminary and in fact , the school year is already ending.  Christmas vacation has ended, then, we would be waiting for the Sto. Nino Fiesta, then preparations for the examinations and exams.  For all we know we would be preparing sooner or later for the graduation.

One year has passed quickly.  I missed the beauty of nature in Tagaytay, but also the Christian and the reciprocal love in Tagaytay living the spirituality of communion guided by the charism of Chiara Lubich.  It is like a small ante room to paradise!  But here I am, I need to “create” in my own little way the paradise: “on earth as it is in heaven” in the context of the seminary community.  All in all we are about 250 including the priests, staff and seminarians.

I have been blessed by the company of good priests here.  We are ten and  80% of who were my students taking care of about 200 seminarians.  They are all making a lot of unity and efforts to make our seminary a community.

It is more the parents! The parents who may not have received Christian formation and could have different values and priorities which I suffer more.  Our seminarians have common sense and generally they are very “formable”

One time, I denied permission from a parent to allow his son to go out since we had a practice for the concert.  I need to plead with her that her son could stay and she could wait for less that a week to be with her son for some days when they will go home for the week-end anyway.

Another mother/father, did not realize that any attempt to run for office needs resignation from church position.  Naturally, we have applied the same light to our seminarians.  We denied that one seminarian run for office in a local election.  Much to our surprise our advices were not heeded .  He won (this means that our seminarians are that good) and when we informed the parents that it would be good for their son be more of service to the public, he would stay in another school where he would be free, they asked that he could stay.  We agreed on the condition, and that he would concentrate more in the formative process, he would have a leave of absence from this elected and sworn office till his graduation.  There was an agreement, but I feel that misgivings made a dent in our relationships.  This caused me to suffer.

I am happy however that one, instead of being sent out, on the contrary we have decided with a great pain on the part of the priests, to let him stay since, he needed help and the seminary is the best place for him.  This was the bishop’s mind so we became aware that our roles are not only functionary but to suffer and to be “fathers” and priests of those who hates their father – and therefore us priests – due to an inevitable absence of the father due to work or any disfunctions in the family.

To be a rector, I understood now, is not only to be an administrator or a builder but to exercise priestly ministry, even if it hearts.  Jesus’ bled, I have also to bleed.  Love is the fulfillment of the law!  Love if it is present makes us see what to do, even if it hurts.  The priests here have become more shepherds of our seminarians rather than administrators, as I have seen them.  God bless them!

Some days ago, I celelebrated by 50^th birthday and I  realized that “what could have been” in my life, good or bad!  But God’s love is always stronger and everything he allows to happen whether it be a negative or positive reality is all encompassed in this loving presence.  The more I grow “old” the more also I realized that the deep divisions in my soul, as maybe St. Paul experienced, when he said  -  the things, I want to do, I did not do; the things I want not to do, I did – is perhaps a universal experience since original sin and its effects are universal.  Original sin is taken away in baptism but the effects are always present, even perhaps stronger.  But love is stronger, mercy, forgiveness of God.  It is in this way, which is the truth, that I could go ahead in this adventure of life.   This makes me free, and I hope for you too the truth will always make you free!